Activision Investors condemn CEO Bobby Kotick’s salary, Activision raises it by 30% in response

Our Angel Bobby Kotick

For those familiar with the modern gaming landscape, you’ll be familiar with Activision’s loveable rogue of a CEO, Bobby Kotick.

This maverick of the microtransaction wowed the world by releasing games with record-breaking revenue, and record-breaking lay-offs in the aftermath – he’s a true American hero, who’s noble mission is clear – blur gaming and gambling into one, and create a utopia of an industry built off of manipulating it’s userbase.

Now, I know simply hearing about this man’s many achievements makes you drool, and impulsively reach into your wallet to cram more money down his throat – it happens to the best of us. So why then, we can’t help but wonder, would shareholders want our pal Bobbywash to receive less pay, when that’s Activision’s prime purpose?

Well, fear not Bobbyguards, Activision has in a statement to Press Reload, assured us that this wouldn’t be the case.

“Yes, we completely understand your fears of Bobby no longer being the highest paid man on planet Earth – and we stand with you in the belief that Bobby should never have to worry about not buying another 5 homes per year.”

The press release continued, and quickly assuaged our fears. “In response to the investors, we’ve decided the only fair thing to do would be raise Mr Kotick’s wages by 30%, bringing Bobby to a solid $39.1 million salary – bringing him out of the danger zone of financial loss.”

“We here at Activision are like a family – a close group of people, for whom Bobby serves as a kind of father figure to. Yes, he may throw us out occasionally, but the fishing trips make it more than worth it.”

So there you have it, Kotick Krusaiders – our king is far from being dethroned just yet.

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