After enraged demand from the public, Video Game star Dr Ivo “Eggman” Robotnik addressed animal abuse allegations, in a personal statement this morning.
He stated “It’s true. I thought I was untouchable; I was the top banana – No one dared to challenge me, I could get away with anything.” He continued, uncomfortably facing his demons: “My criminal past is starting to catch up with me, and things that should never have become public knowledge, now have.”
“Sonic saved me from a lifetime in prison. He beat the crap out of me, but he saved me”
After our scrupulous attempt of extracting more information, he finally gave in.
“I sacrificed my morality for scientific advancement. I was the greatest mind of the time, but it came at a price” Furthermore he stated: “My success granted me great wealth, as well as a shareholder position in one of the biggest animal husbandry organisations in the world. At the time, that came with certain unspoken privileges.”
Towards the end of the address, he confirmed that “My attitude has since changed, and despite my unchallenged scientific GENIUS, my morality has made serious advancements – I’m really starting to understand the field.”
What privileges? Will charges be pressed? What do welfare companies plan on doing? Stay tuned at Press Reload to find out.