We’ve all seen it by now – Sega’s new console, the Game Gear Micro.
Seeing the Nintendo classic series’ success, no doubt, Sega clambered into the rollercoaster, expecting the same surefire success achieved by it’s red counterpart – but, instead of the sounds of fans rejoicing, they received quite a different response.
I sat down with Sega of America President, Ian Curran, not only to discuss Sega’s mistakes in the Game Gear Micro’s announcement, but furthermore their brand image.
“Sega is a company that looks at the world, and laughs.”
“When you think of Sega as a brand,” Ian informed me, “you think one thing – hip, up to date. You think of a company who looks at the world, and laughs – and that’s because, bluntly, Sega’s above it. Sega is above the law and above any reasonable authority. Sonic could kill God.” I nodded, completely understanding the gospel he was sharing with me. “But, obviously, we let down our fans this time, we failed to capture that Sega magic – and all I can say to that, is I’m sorry. The marketing team behind the name and project will be dealt with, don’t you worry.”
When I asked about how Sega planned to remedy the situation, he assured me that a plan was fully in place to recover fan trust.
“We’ve been in contact with a lot of our fans recently – our fans mean the world to us, and so their word is incredibly important when releasing a new product. They told us that our approach was out of touch with the modern gaming landscape – and, taking a second look at the project, we know exactly what they mean.”
“We’re pleased to announce, after talking with our fans, the Sega Game Gear Microtransaction.”
“In gaming, the most prominent thing for gamers right now, is their ability to force money down our throats in persuit of fulfilling the unhealthy urge to spend – and we at Sega are happy to comply. We’ve redesigned our retro titles to fit the bill perfectly – updating iconic titles like ‘Sonic the Hedgehog’ and ‘Royal Stone’, to feature modern industry staples like custom skins, and Always-Online DRM. We’re also planning to strip away content and sell it to the user at a premium, something fans have been asking for, for a very long time.”
“Another feature that we’re very proud to be including, is a full battle royale mode for each game – that’s right, every single game on the system. Puyo Puyo II? That’s right baby, it’s in there. Columns? Do you think we’re fucking idiots? Course we crammed it in!”
At this point, he started jumping up and down in sheer excitement for the new product, before regaining his composure and apologizing for the disturbance. “Sorry, I’m just really pumped about this release.”
And honestly, I can’t blame him.